It’s been a blissful few days since we left the hospital with Harris, and the day we left will always have a very strong place in my heart. There is a whole ceremony to it with an adoption.We packed up our room, filled out our discharge papers, and then the ritual began. The nurse had to carry the baby downstairs to the front door, and put him the arms of a representative from the adoption agency. The agency representative then placed the baby in my arms. This ceremony resonated deeply in my soul as he was placed in my loving arms. He was ours now. Our prayers have been answered. The crying began and none of us could contain it. In the very public lobby of the hospital, the lack of privacy could not make us hold back this sublime moment. We were leaving with him. He is our son. We are his parents. I thanked God for hearing my prayers.
P and I were inspired by P’s dear mother. As we struggled to have a child she said she believed that the baby’s soul was on a cloud in heaven trying to get to us. When the right opportunity came, his soul would find us. That brought me great comfort in a way that little else did. It gave me courage to move ahead and to not give up.The beauty is that Harris did indeed find us. In the moment he was handed to me in the hospital lobby, I thanked him choosing us and for coming down from his cloud in his perfect time. I said a prayer and thanked Em for nurturing his body and bringing him into this world, for without her, his soul could not have found us.
Then, all of the sudden, we were like any other new parents, struggling with figuring out how to put him in his car seat, making sure he had enough food, and trying to keep him from melting down on the long first car ride. I sat in the backseat with Harris as P drove us out of the parking lot. I didn’t look back. I only had eyes for Harris. It would be a busy day, as we had two important stops before we reached our temporary home.
Stop one included a visit to a very kind and generous mom whom I met online during my IVF journey. She and her beautiful son greeted me, P and Harris into her home. She was kind enough to lend us a travel crib and a baby bouncer for Harris’ exetnded stay in Florida, as we wait for the interstate clearnaces to come through. I am humbled to meet any woman who has walked the path of infertility. In my eyes, she, like so many struggling women out there, are warriors.
Stop two was to the home of a remarkable and dynamic lady I met on a community milk sharing board. She offered 300 ounces of her hard won breast milk for our son’s first 2 weeks of life. She had been saving it since her son was a newborn, and when she answered my post, was kind enough to offer as much milk as we needed for our stay. We enjoyed a great visit, which I wish could have lasted much longer. We had so much fun! Here she is snuggling little Harris and wishing him well for his life. Her donation started our son’s life out on the right foot. About one and a half feedings a day come from me, and the rest from dear Lindsay. If you are reading this, we all thank you!
Finally we ended up in Sarasota with dear friends. We are so grateful to be surrounded by such love right now. Friends J & S are loving up on Harris and supporting us as P and I navigate becoming parents. After such a stressful time, we really needed the laughter and warmth their home offers to us. We all sit around the table and stare at Harris in awe, trying to wrap our heads around the fact that he was not breathing air less than a week ago. He has blessed us all, helping us to see the light in our respective lives and helping to move us forward with hope for the future.
Leaving the hospital was a huge step for us, but I am not sure this will all feel like more than a dream until we are home, inviting this gorgeous little being into our home. Pinch me. I must be dreaming.